belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I faked an abortion last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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