she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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