i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
