Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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