I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize