I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry about my life...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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