while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
