I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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