We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
