the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
ttyl tear gas
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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