EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
