Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
