Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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