I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize