I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
