hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
