i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
