dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize