Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
