Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
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Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
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And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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