I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
