Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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