____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
