just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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