youre lurking in front of me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
