Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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