Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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