looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
