Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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