im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize