During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize