so that wasnt chicken after all
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
