the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
