Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This is not my ceiling
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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