I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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