its not stalking. its research.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
