these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize