beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
