So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
