and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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