Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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