Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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