Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
