how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
