Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
