420 ftw
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
