Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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