You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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