we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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