haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I understand Curling. That high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
