BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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