its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
