Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
