Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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