I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
