I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize