I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
