dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
