i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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