i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
