Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
