all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
