i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
