Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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