Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
