i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
